Jan 022012
 

I started the New Year reading. Meds help. I can read more easily, but what I really missed was the fact that I was losing my ability to ‘grasp’ anything anymore. It seems to be coming back. Meds help.

My childhood was not the best; it was not the worst, but it sucked more often than not.

I was an emotional wreck in High School and for a few years after High School because it hurt that I had to go back into Foster Care because the damn system couldn’t place me with a nice family to begin with. I felt robbed. Like no one cared to begin with, and they certainly didn’t care to fix their mistake.

This was true, of course, for both my adopted parents and the ‘system’ in my eyes.
Continue reading »

Oct 132011
 

Dying inside
Nowhere to hide
Escape from inner me?

Not even confused
‘Bout what I should do
But selfish I tend to be.

Want them so bad
Oh isn’t it sad
The things that I will do?

Cuz though it sounds sappy
They just make you happy
Even if their love is not you.

But when does it end
These feelings you fend
Your heart you try to deny?

Get lost in their being
Never believing
This love is ever a lie.

Why do they gel
And fit you so well
Like something out of a dream?

Maybe that love
Is not from above
And it’s time to change my team.

How is it so
I just want to know
That their soul is not mated to yours?

I’m stuck in a trance
Not given a chance
The truth my heart ignores.

Why does this destiny
Just seem to mess with me
When my feelings are so pure?

I’m trapped in my dreams
Falling it seems
The truth I tend to obscure.

Why can’t I just stop
My heart’s final flop
And open my eyes up to see?

But no attention I pay
To reality’s way
That says we’ll never be.