Sep 022012
 

What’s so great about reality anyhow? Rules, obligations, truth, reality…

I love to be entertained; it could be the ADHD that I always have to be entertained or I go mad, but nothing entertains me better than the world of fantasy. Oh the places you can go, the people you can see, the adventures you can have! The world of fantasy; mystical, dark, light, funny, sad, adventurous, seductive, and limitless. Fantasy beats reality any day.

Could I lose myself to the world of fantasy? Could my mind become so enthralled in the euphoria that is the bliss of fantasy? I get lost in hours of a show that is everything I could want in a fantasy: new, different, sexy, and hilarious.
Continue reading »

Jan 032012
 

Most of the times, the reason I want to be outside of existence is because it hurts too much to be in it. Most of the times, I am just that depressed. It sucks that that is how I am lately, but I am dealing with it best I can on my own. It’s the other times where it even is even more than just a thought.
Continue reading »

Jan 022012
 

I started the New Year reading. Meds help. I can read more easily, but what I really missed was the fact that I was losing my ability to ‘grasp’ anything anymore. It seems to be coming back. Meds help.

My childhood was not the best; it was not the worst, but it sucked more often than not.

I was an emotional wreck in High School and for a few years after High School because it hurt that I had to go back into Foster Care because the damn system couldn’t place me with a nice family to begin with. I felt robbed. Like no one cared to begin with, and they certainly didn’t care to fix their mistake.

This was true, of course, for both my adopted parents and the ‘system’ in my eyes.
Continue reading »

May 112011
 

How can anyone think they know me when I am still learning myself? You think because you live with me, you know me? You think because you are or at one point have been my best friend, you know me? You think because you read my words, you know me? You think because I tell you everything I want to tell you, you know me?
Continue reading »