Jul 22

Hopeless

I don’t get it. You say you care. You say I’m your favorite. You say I’m the best. But I don’t see it.

I can’t get any consideration unless I’m ‘upset’ or want to give up on everyone. I can’t even really get consideration when I’m upset really; just you want me to not be upset asap so you can be entertained again. Like really; when I get upset, you leave. When I’m happy, you’re there. Fuck that.

I really am done. I’m tired of being the one trying and the one that shows she cares. You know I love you. I’d be lying if I said I knew you cared.

But it’s not your thing to show; it’s not mine to be fake. We can’t work. [I AM speaking in the ‘as friends’ sense here; I can’t pretend to feel like you think of me as a friend when all I think you think of me as entertainment that you can pick up when you are bored or your toy isn’t available.]