Sep 28

Lost Love

Why is it better to have love and lost than to never have loved before? I don’t get it. I quite like the idea of not having loved someone; makes for less heartache, less stress, and less emotional roller-coasters. Talk about bi-polar!

I would rather be ignorant, yes. I wish I did not know the truth about God. I wish I never fell madly in love. And I wish I were just someone who used people because then at least I wouldn’t regret missing out on a kiss. Continue reading

Sep 21


I can be amused by a many of things; sometimes it doesn’t take much, sometimes I’m just not amused. I amuse myself, I amuse my friends, and I amuse my clients, but sometimes, I am not amused. I am not easily amused if I don’t like you, but sometimes I am, even if I don’t like you. I enjoy amusement.

I can’t tell anymore if I am amused to distract myself from my life or if I am actually amused. I question myself and what I feel anymore. I question who I am, and what my reality is; reality in the sense of the who that I am, not in like the world we share. My ‘truth’ about myself I guess I should say. I sometimes find myself questioning who I am and where I’m going.
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Sep 09

Why We Must Stay At War

Why stay at war?

We must stay at war. Being a lover of peace and not violence, I don’t much like the conclusion to which I have arrived. I would much rather bring the troops home and focus on family, our nation, and getting us ‘right’. But I don’t like the possible ramifications that ideal could bring.
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Sep 06

If I Died Today, I’d Want You To…

If I Died Today, I’d Want You To:

Love somebody with all of your heart. Don’t just be in love with the idea of love. Get to know someone. Take your time. Tomorrow may not be guaranteed, but do you really want to waste years on lust or the love of love? The slower, the better. It’s such a grand adventure getting to know that special someone– getting to see new aspects of who they are and what they like. When you find yourself smiling just thinking about them, the idea of their touch makes your body melt, and you can be in the same room saying nothing at all and still have a good time, you may have found someone you can love with all your heart. Would you do anything short of denying yourself? Would you even have to deny yourself? Your love should just ‘fit’. Don’t play games. Life is indeed too short for that. Love whole-heartedly, intentionally, and with respect. Love somebody truly with all your heart.

Sep 04

Definition of a Hopeless Romantic

Hopeless Romantic

[as found on Connecting Singles]:

Hopeless Romantic:

1: A person who daydreams about romantic occasions and dreams of chances where he/she will be able to perform a romantic act to their love, yet never gets the chance to.

2: This person is in love with love. They believe in fairy tales and love. They’re not to be confused as stalkers or creepy because that’s not what a hopeless romantic is. All hopeless romantics are idealists, the sentimental dreamers, the imaginative, and the fanciful when you get to know them. They often live with rose colored glasses on. They make love look like an art form with all the romantic things they do for their special someone.

3. A hopeless romantic is not the same as a hopeless flirter. A hopeless romantic dreams of who they will spend the rest of their life with and what the two of them will do together. They want to be romanced with sweet simple things and the thoughtful amazing surprises. They dream of being loved but also loving somebody. They don’t just want somebody to hold them, they also want to hold someone. They realize that love isn’t just about one person but both people, they are hopelessly in love with being loved AND loving back.

4. Someone that thinks of love passionately.

5. A hopeless romantic is one who looks for the a singular person on this world that makes their world come together. They are indeed looking for the man or woman of their dreams. As a result, they prefer not to live in reality. The hopeless romantic knows the reality of love is that reality has no business being in love. This is why they will often perform grandiose gestures that may be seen as unsettling or borderline crazy to non-romantics. But to the fellow few romantics, these same gestures will be adored as beautifully and obscenely quixotic. And such is the “hope” of the hopeless romantic- to not only find the one who loves receiving such love, but loves giving such love. And the true hopeless romantic would always rather give than receive. Because they know then and only then, will there be true love.

…I guess I am more of a hopeless romantic than I thought…the epitome actually…

Sep 01

Mommy Dearest

I was adopted a little before my third birthday. I know it to be true, but remember it more because my foster mom had given me a birthday gift before I left and wished me happy birthday before I went to live with my new family.

My sister and I were adopted together. The way my adopted mom tells it, we took a little to adjust; we wouldn’t eat much for two weeks, but finally one night we had fried chicken and I supposedly told my sister ‘let’s eat’ and so we did. My sister and I were like best friends growing up; sure, we fought and maybe more than other good sisters did, but we had each others’ back and we confided in each other. Home videos show my sister copying me, us having fun, and memories are great when thinking of my sister and other sister that we later adopted with us [totally cool to get another sister our age to play with!].
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