Dec 06

Flow

Some people can look at a couple and wonder what one was thinking in getting with the other; they judge by the outer appearances. They see what their narrow minds show them. Judging eyes.

I’ve been guilty of judging my reaction to someone based on their appearances; that is, I have been guilty of not thinking I can be attracted to someone based on their appearances. Not that they are ugly by any means, but that I would not feel the chemistry. After all, why waste the energy if the chemistry is not going to be there? Some people make better friends than lovers; if I can gauge which goes into which category best, I can gauge how much effort I will put to them. Not to say that lovers get more text time or friends get more face time and vice versa, but rather that if you can only fit in the “lovers” category, and I don’t want you as a friend, I don’t have to put any effort. Yet if you can only fit in the “friends” category, I’m not gonna spend the extra effort to let you know I’m thinking about you either. 😉

It makes sense in my head. In my head, I am still wrong; I make rash decisions and mistakes, but I don’t give up because of a bad break.
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Jan 02

Love Me Not

I started the New Year reading. Meds help. I can read more easily, but what I really missed was the fact that I was losing my ability to ‘grasp’ anything anymore. It seems to be coming back. Meds help.

My childhood was not the best; it was not the worst, but it sucked more often than not.

I was an emotional wreck in High School and for a few years after High School because it hurt that I had to go back into Foster Care because the damn system couldn’t place me with a nice family to begin with. I felt robbed. Like no one cared to begin with, and they certainly didn’t care to fix their mistake.

This was true, of course, for both my adopted parents and the ‘system’ in my eyes.
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Jun 27

Not a Love Song

I love a good love song when I’m in love. Nothing better than to listen to something that makes you think of the object of your affections. I like songs that make me feel, and love songs make me feel. Sometimes they make me feel happy, and sometimes they make me feel sad. There is nothing wrong with a good love song. But the not-a-love-song songs are even better to me at times.
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May 08

True Love?

What is love? What is true love? What’s the difference? What ‘love’ are we talking about when we ask?

It never ceases to amaze me how we can fall in ‘love’ with whomever we are dating the minute they become ‘ours’. We see us growing old together and being with each other always. Some go to the extreme as much as to smother their mates. We all love and want to be loved in different ways though so who is to say that it really isn’t love? If love to me, is not what love is to you, how can you tell me I’m not in love?
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