Tag Archives: friend

Apr 09

More Than You Can Handle

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“God will never give you more than you can handle.”

What a crock of….!

Have you ever been in the depths of despair and had a friend feed you this line? As if to make things better, they contend that God would never give you more than you can handle (you strong individual you)! Yet, if He never gave us more than we could handle, what reason would we have to call on Him?

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” -Matthew 11:28 (NIV)

What burden would we need rest from if God would never give us more than we can handle?

Have you ever been in the dire straights of hopelessness? Have you ever felt true, utter despair? Hoplessness felt? When you are at the end of your emotional rope, the last thing you want to hear is that you can get through this (on your own). You want helpful advice, a helping hand, or just plain help period. You do not want regurgitated, baseless chatter.

“And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” -1 Corinthians 10:13b

So the line may not be entirely baseless, but the (mis)interpretation of the verse is where the error lies; read it again: ‘he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.’ If you read further, you read the request to ‘flee from idolatry’. The Bible says that He will not let you be tempted more than you can handle, not that He will not give you more than you can handle. We are not meant to be able to handle everything; God is. We are meant to give our burdens over to Him. We are meant to call on Him. We are meant to resist temptation, but we are never guaranteed to be given only what we can handle.

I am never encouraged by those words; it never makes me feel better to hear that ‘God will never give you more than you can handle’ because it has always felt like a cop-out.

“A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all.” -Psalm 34:19

God will never give you more than He can handle. The caveat to that though is that He can handle anything. He wants us to call on Him; He wants us to lean on Him. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

Dec 07

But I’m Awesome

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I think I’m pretty awesome. I am not as super talented as some of my friends and family, but I am a good friend, funny, kind, and pretty darn good at problem solving! I’m awesome in being myself. I am not cocky about who I am, and I don’t try to demean others to uplift myself more, but I am confident that who I am is enough to be a good friend, sister, and lover.
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Nov 29

The Five Love Languages

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The five love languages as discussed by author Gary Chapman include: words of affirmation, acts of service, gift giving, physical touch, and quality time. Intended as a marriage counseling aide, the initial book is related more to how to show your spouse you love them in a way that will speak to them, but the five love languages can be applied to how we show and receive love in general.

Words of Affirmation

Probably my least favorite love language to be spoken to with and second to last to use, words of affirmation are the praises or compliments you give to your spouse or loved one. They are the positive feedback you direct towards them alone. My problems with words, despite my love of manipulating the English language, is that words are easy to give and can be very hollow. I can find any word in a dictionary, but I’d be hard-pressed to find someone who would curl up on the couch and rub my shoulders or do the dishes after I cook a meal. Words can be given to anyone at a rapid rate, but gifts must be carefully chosen and given with less of a tempo. Words have multiple meanings and can be misunderstood. I love to hear that I am loved, that I am the amazing woman that I am, and that I make someone happy, but words without action annoy me more than anything. Continue reading →

Jan 27

Friend

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If you have to lie to a friend, they cannot be much of a friend to begin with. Or not much of a friend to you. Not someone you would consider true friend. You don’t care much if you can lie to them.

You care even less when you allow the lies to settle. And fester. Grow. Hurt.

You care even less when your pride blinds you. A true friend knows humility. A best never has to be reminded of that fact.
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Jan 13

Own You

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When I was younger, I saw psychiatrists, psychologists, and therapists against my will. It started in 7th grade when my mother started taking my sister and I to see a psychiatrist. We saw that quack for almost 3 years until my mom made it where I could no longer stay in the care of my parents. I don’t know if they still continued to see the quack, but when I went into foster care, I had to see a psychiatrist and/or therapist depending on where I was placed at the time.
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Dec 23

Friend or Foe

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So you have a friend, right. And they say they are your friend, have your back, love you, are there for you, and care.

And do they show it?

Consistently forget about you, consistently break their word to you, and consistently only think about themselves.

You give because you love and don’t know how to stop. Time, money, resources, energy, emotion…

Consistently they show they don’t care about you, but what you can give. Entertainment, distraction, support, silent in a lie…

You want to believe their words, but their actions never support them. How do you train your mind to believe things contrary to what it sees?

Why do they do it?

Why do you ache to your core because you have lost them?

Your own fault and doing; your own request.

What they wanted anyhow?

Why think of them.

You are an afterthought.

If they are so ‘bad’, why do you ‘care’?

I am bad. Does that mean they don’t ‘care’? I care because I love. I love because their bad doesn’t change their good.

I am imperfect. You are imperfect. They are imperfect. People are imperfect.

I am mean. You are mean. They are mean. People are mean.

I hurt. I make mistakes. I’m like everyone else. I don’t want to be like everyone else.

They lie. They care only about themselves and their own. They are like everyone else. They don’t care about you.

Everyone fails. Everyone is imperfect.

Why does it hurt if they are like everyone else?

And then I become everyone else. And no idea how to stop it.

But it is not just me. I am not the sole perpetrator in this nonsense. They do do as I have said. I just don’t know how to let the slights slide.

Perceived  a fake, and a fake perhaps I am, but they give meaning to ‘the perfect drug’; and they are addicting. Their energy eases your soul. Friend.

I know a friend. I have had a friend. I have had friends. Drop everything for someone they haven’t seen in years to pick them up when they were stranded. Gave money. Time. Resources. A shoulder to cry on. Ear to bend. They never had to be reminded. Never had to be shown. They made you feel like family.

It’s an anomaly to me; why can’t I figure out the riddle?

The best of the best. None can compare; so why compare?

Dual personalities. One is your equal, the other looks down at you. One can speak openly to you for hours, the other thinks you are beyond ‘understanding’. One is honest, the other lies. Both are talented. Both are funny. Both comprise the best.

It’s the thought that counts. Just the thought. I can’t get it through to them.

I just want to be considered.