Jul 22

Hopeless

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I don’t get it. You say you care. You say I’m your favorite. You say I’m the best. But I don’t see it.

I can’t get any consideration unless I’m ‘upset’ or want to give up on everyone. I can’t even really get consideration when I’m upset really; just you want me to not be upset asap so you can be entertained again. Like really; when I get upset, you leave. When I’m happy, you’re there. Fuck that.

I really am done. I’m tired of being the one trying and the one that shows she cares. You know I love you. I’d be lying if I said I knew you cared.

But it’s not your thing to show; it’s not mine to be fake. We can’t work. [I AM speaking in the ‘as friends’ sense here; I can’t pretend to feel like you think of me as a friend when all I think you think of me as entertainment that you can pick up when you are bored or your toy isn’t available.]

Jun 27

Not a Love Song

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I love a good love song when I’m in love. Nothing better than to listen to something that makes you think of the object of your affections. I like songs that make me feel, and love songs make me feel. Sometimes they make me feel happy, and sometimes they make me feel sad. There is nothing wrong with a good love song. But the not-a-love-song songs are even better to me at times.
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Jun 08

I’m Not An Atheist

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I have the mind of an atheist, but Jesus lives in my heart. =]

I do understand the concept of not believing in anything; I understand that the idea of a ‘Creator’ may not be the most logical, scientific approach to the world. I understand that science just may be able to answer all the questions of the world better than ‘God’ can. I understand that religion is riddled with more questions than answers. If I didn’t have a heart for Jesus, I might be able to convince myself that we exist merely to exist.
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May 19

Finire

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Don’t pretend you want to get to know me;
Show me
Only
What it’s like to be lonely.
Phony
Deceiver
Make a believer or leave her.
Stranded
Candid
Like a fuckin bandit;
Thief in the night.
Nothing seems right.
Everything’s wrong,
And I haven’t got a fight.
I’m done.

May 11

You Don’t KNOW Me!

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How can anyone think they know me when I am still learning myself? You think because you live with me, you know me? You think because you are or at one point have been my best friend, you know me? You think because you read my words, you know me? You think because I tell you everything I want to tell you, you know me?
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May 08

True Love?

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What is love? What is true love? What’s the difference? What ‘love’ are we talking about when we ask?

It never ceases to amaze me how we can fall in ‘love’ with whomever we are dating the minute they become ‘ours’. We see us growing old together and being with each other always. Some go to the extreme as much as to smother their mates. We all love and want to be loved in different ways though so who is to say that it really isn’t love? If love to me, is not what love is to you, how can you tell me I’m not in love?
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