Why is it better to have love and lost than to never have loved before? I don’t get it. I quite like the idea of not having loved someone; makes for less heartache, less stress, and less emotional roller-coasters. Talk about bi-polar!

I would rather be ignorant, yes. I wish I did not know the truth about God. I wish I never fell madly in love. And I wish I were just someone who used people because then at least I wouldn’t regret missing out on a kiss.

A simple kiss, sure, but you don’t understand; have you ever kissed pure joy? Pure happiness? Pure radiance? Perfection felt? The energy that is exuded from a perfect smile? Have you tasted what that beauty feels like? Yea, me either. But I want/ed to and it eats me alive most days. Some days I slide by sleeping in all day. =]

But a kiss is so sensual; it can be sexy and loving and playful and raw and just plain rejuvenating! And I tend to be a very sexual person; a good kiss is a huge turn-on. How do you kiss perfect happiness and not want to just devour them?

I can get carried away, but you can’t overstep the line of someone you love and therefor respect. And so why couldn’t I be a jerk? I’d be a lot more happier right now if I just had that moment to cherish, but rather I have that moment to regret; missing out on that kiss.

I don’t want to have loved and lost; I don’t want to have loved at all. Maybe I could love someone else? Can we truly love more than one person?

I hope so. Cuz perfection seems a shot in the dark to be able to happen twice in one lifetime…especially one as unlucky as mine….