When people ask me if I am an optimist or a pessimist, I tell them quite simply that I am a realist. I dream for the best, but know that the worst might occur. I hate sappy romance movies because they never stay true to life, yet secretly I root for the happy ending. I want the fantasy to be a reality.

When I was younger, my mother would become so upset with me because I always had to have things as black and white–no room for gray. She used to tell me that things are not always black and white and that I had to accept that sometimes there is just gray. I never could. I still cannot. I tell people that in order to get gray, you must mix the black and the white. Sure, it applies to colors, but it can apply to life too. People only accept the gray because they do not want to accept the truth.
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I could be a conspiracy theorist. I think too much. I analyze too much. And I could convince an Eskimo that he not only needs a refrigerator, but a deep freezer to go with it. I can believe. I can make others believe.

No, I’m not saying I have any power over anyone. Other than the power of manipulation. Not manipulation in the ill sense of the word; just in the sense that if I want you to believe my point or in the very least leave thinking I may be right, I can.
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Are we so arrogant that we have to believe that ‘truth’ is ‘relative’ rather than ‘inherent?’ We are egocentric enough to create a hegemony that ensures our rights are protected and yet selfless enough to succumb to ‘relative truth.’

Lesbian. Dyke. Fag. Lesbian. How can your own family turn against you? How is it more horrible to love another man or woman than to love a different skin color? When did love become about what a person is rather than who a person is?

Lesbian. Dyke. Fag. Why do people think words hurt so much? Why do words hurt so much? After all, they have as much power as we give them. Why do we try and find the most hated words to throw at each other? Nigger. Spic. Rag head. Words on a page, words out of your mouth, words with no meaning at all until we give them meaning. And yet we start fights, shed tears, and draw lines over them.
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There is a saying that you can ‘have your cake and eat it too‘ that is often used as an insult. That is because it usually is. I mean, no matter what way you look at it or twist it, that is ultimately what you are asking for. No matter what word play you use to justify your actions, it still makes it an insult.

I do not think I take for granted inherent things in the world. Is it not inherent that you be faithful to your girlfriend or boyfriend regardless of whether or not a ring is on their finger? Should it not be an agreement by both of you if you decide to step out on them? I mean, think about all the emotions you have to play with to do that. You first hurt the one you claim to love because they have now become insufficient for you; they cannot give you what you want so their role has been minimized to nothing. You make them feel that small that you actually expect them to take you back into their bed afterwards as if to call them a whore. Then you have the one that you cheat with; they think they now have a chance with you and get hurt when you say ‘no’. Sex should not be about fucking. Sex should be about making love and showing that love to your partner. You cheat with that person, they think it will go somewhere. Perhaps it will. Perhaps that is what you want all along. Despite what you say. You disrespect two people and make them both whores when you cheat.
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