The five love languages as discussed by author Gary Chapman include: words of affirmation, acts of service, gift giving, physical touch, and quality time. Intended as a marriage counseling aide, the initial book is related more to how to show your spouse you love them in a way that will speak to them, but the five love languages can be applied to how we show and receive love in general.

Words of Affirmation

Probably my least favorite love language to be spoken to with and second to last to use, words of affirmation are the praises or compliments you give to your spouse or loved one. They are the positive feedback you direct towards them alone. My problems with words, despite my love of manipulating the English language, is that words are easy to give and can be very hollow. I can find any word in a dictionary, but I’d be hard-pressed to find someone who would curl up on the couch and rub my shoulders or do the dishes after I cook a meal. Words can be given to anyone at a rapid rate, but gifts must be carefully chosen and given with less of a tempo. Words have multiple meanings and can be misunderstood. I love to hear that I am loved, that I am the amazing woman that I am, and that I make someone happy, but words without action annoy me more than anything.

Acts of Service

Acts of service include cleaning the house before you get home; knowing you had a long day, coming home to a clean house is an action that shows I care about how your day ends. By doing something for you, I show you with my actions that I care. The acts must be done out of love and in a manner that is positive so that you see that I am doing it because I truly care, not because I feel that I have to. Acts of service can include taking the dog for a walk, doing the laundry, or even just picking up your kids from daycare when you are running late. Acts of service is to put actions to my love for you.

Gift Giving

Gift giving ties with acts of service for me when it comes to how someone speaks to me when they are showing me they care as well as how I speak to others. In my opinion, gift giving is just as easy as words of affirmation because it’s just you giving your loved one something: flowers, candy, jewelry, and anything else tangible.

Physical Touch

Physical touch ties hand in hand with my preferred favorite love language, quality time; it refers to any touch that your loved one favors. It does not necessarily mean ‘sex’. It’s how you run your fingers across their arm while you lay next to them in bed, the hugs and kisses every time you see them, and holding their hand when you are out on a walk; physical touch, as the name implies, is physical contact with your loved one.

Quality Time

Quality time is my favorite love language because I feel time is something that cannot be manipulated, purchased, or replenished; to spend a minute of time on me is awesome because it is a minute you will never get back. Quality time is undivided attention with your loved one. Undivided: this means, the focus of the time spent together is on us alone.

I find myself craving physical touch lately. Not even in the sexual sense either; I find myself just wanting to be held. I want to curl up in someone’s arms and have them stroke my arms, caress my face, and nuzzle up against me. Not even sexually either; I want the security and reassurance of being held. I feel anxious with life lately for no apparent reason; I shouldn’t be anxious at all because life is good. In being held and cuddling, the effects are two love languages at once: physical touch and quality time. After all, if we are cuddling with each other, how are we concentrating on anyone else?

Sometimes my lips ache, burn, and swell like a bee sting because I crave a kiss so badly, but my whole body feels weak and empty at times when I crave a cuddle.